Sunday, 18 November 2007 21:12
Music: Placebo - Meds
Last week I started work at the Royal Mail sorting office and I think that this has been beneficial to me in regards to my social anxiety disorder as I have not been feeling as nervous about going there even know I do not have any idea what I am going to do once I get there. I have been taking my meds everyday like I should. I am still on a 20mg dose even though I felt like doubling it to 40mg a day when I had a lapse. The first time I went round Steven's I was so nervous and felt ill. Now I think I am doing much better and when he came round mine I wasn't nearly as nervous as I was when I went round his. This is one of the things that I wanted from a gap year, to gain confidence in myself. I think that part of the reason for this is that I get the hang of what we are meant to do fast and then help out the others who haven't understood what we are meant to do.
At the moment different parts hurt or ache for different reasons. As I write this I have a wrist brace on my right hand as hurt it something on Thursday night at work and I've been wearing it since Friday. My foot hurts because of the way I sit cross legged on my bed but I think most of all my heart aches because I realised I was in love with someone but I can't see them until Christmas and even he probably won't not love me back.