Editor’s note: I’ve not edited this. I just sat down one day and started typing. This is what came out.

Today is a bank holiday which means I can do whatever I want. Which turns out to be sit in my PJs watching videos on YouTube and playing games until early afternoon. Then I got bored of not doing anything. I like to accomplish things. So I got dressed and when out on my bike.

I’m still recovering from coming off a motorbike near the end of March but I’m nearly there. I’m aware of the parts I’ve hurt but they don’t hurt or stop me from doing what I want. I went out for a 4 mile bike ride today alone the tow path. I need to get my health back up as I’ve been lazy and unable to do some things because of said injuries.

I’ve done some pretty cool things this month but I’ve just not sat down and wrote about them. I procrastinate until they don’t seem important to write about anymore.

I’ve spoken to one of my friends and he’s agreed to lend me his motorbike whilst he is away over the summer. I’m grateful for this as it means I don’t have to worry about buying a motorbike and then having to sell it within 18 months when I pass my motorbike license. The issue I’ve ran into is that most places won’t insure me as I’m not the owner of the motorbike. So we’ve got to figure out how I can ride this motorbike. The alternative is that I buy my own 125 motorbike on some kind of finance that I give the bike back to at the end of it. I won’t want to spent a load of money on a motorbike but when I think about it I can make most of the money back when selling it. If I weren’t so non-committal and indecisive it would be easier.

I’ve told me Grandad that I am getting a motorbike which he is not happy with but kind of accepts that it’s something I will do anyway. He thought I just wanted the license so I could ride one instead of having my own. Already owning two cars he wanted to know where I’d put the motorbike. I think that when I do get a motorbike I will still have two cars because I have always been a car guy. When I get a motorbike and have access to it every day I’ll see if my view changes.

My Nissan as survived another year and somehow passed its MOT without any advisories which means it gets a treat. The treat being a year’s Car Tax and a service. This year the service was easy, just spark plugs and oil as last year it had a major service which resulted in me breaking and replacing the rear brake servos. My best friend helped me service the car and today I took it out on a little drive. Everything seemed fine.

I’ve been thinking about replacing some of my computers too. This laptop that I’m typing on I’ve been thinking of replacing it with an Asus Zenbook. There is nothing wrong with this laptop, it’s just big and old. I’d like something light that I can just use about the house and out at places. All I’m doing is typing at the dining table and the cooling fan on this laptop is going and this keyboard isn’t the best.

My Mac Mini struggles to keep up with todays computer, it does as lot better than the PowerBook did but having a number of tabs open and Facebook which uses a lot of resources by itself. It struggles. My desktop does a really good job most of the time apart from this one game I play a lot, Space Engineers. Waiting 10 mins for the game to load to then hardly be able to move gets annoying. I could upgrade my desktop with new parts and then use the old parts and some more to build a hackingtosh. I have one at work and it’s great. I love using Mac OS X but I don’t think I would ever buy a real Mac again. They just cost way too much. Why spend £1600 on a decent spec computer that you can’t upgrade when you can spend £800 on something much faster and future proof. If you want a Mac laptop you have no choice but for desktops the best option is to build your own and put Mac OS X on it.

It would be nice to buy something new for myself and enjoy it. I’m just used to having old stuff given to me. Sure it works but it’s not the fastest or best stuff in the world. I’m stuck in a kind of financial limbo. I’m rich enough to buy whatever I want but I don’t earn enough to move out. The best I can afford with a mortgage is a one bed flat near where I live now. I don’t have to travel far for work or town where I live now so there is no motivation to move out and spend a load of money a month to be alone.

One day everything will make sense. There will be a clear path through live that I will walk down. I just hope I can find it before I die. Until then I’ll just keep marching forward through life.