Music: Disclosure

It’s Luke’s birthday today. My best friend from highschool who I had a massive falling out with…twice. I don’t try to speak to him and he doesn’t try to speak to me. I mean what is the point? We’ve not seen each other in almost 10 years and not even spoken in maybe 6 or 7 years. This wasn’t what I was gonna write about but the first thing I wrote was the date which reminded me of Luke. Any bad feelings I have towards him are from the angsty teenage boy I was when they were created. They are how I felt about him back then and since we’ve not seen each other that’s how I still feel about him. These old feelings have dust on them.

The reason I don’t try to talk to him is because so long has passed. We’ve finished highschool and lived our own lives on our own paths. The men we are now are not the kids we were when then. A fucking stupid statment that sounded profound in my head. The real reason is that he meant a lot to me and I don’t want to get hurt agian. I’m like a dog, I get on well with everyone but form a very strong bond with few.

Typing this I get distracted by the ‘bing’ sound of a Facebook message. My focus shifts from the past to the guy I want to meet. We met online and have been friends for years, but we live so far apart that we’ve never met. I hope we will someday as the world is a small place and he is only a few hours away. I don’t have many friends but the ones I do have are worth their weight in gold.