Killed By Anticipation
Saturday, 25 November 2006 23:45
TV: Fifa06 played by my cousin
Music: The Vines - Don't Listen To The Radio
I have been here since about 7pm yesterday just making sure my cousins don't kill themselves. This have been going well with them not fighting and they went to be at a good time. The eldest was asleep at 10:30 without me making him go. I have been reading the Shinning while they where watching TV and I was surprised when I saw the page number. I have read over 120 pages in what seems like no time. There is 3 or 4 weeks left of term then after xmas we come back for about 10 days before we go on study leave. I seem to be in a passive mood where nothing seems totally real. This is a mood that I want to get out of since it's so much better to feel than to watch. At this moment I am eating a Toffee Crisp and watching my cousin on the playstation thinking about how well this has gone well. Normally when I do something out of the ordinary I get nervous about what could happen and this made me feel sick and bale out of the event but today I felt fine. Probably because I'm with family so I have little to worry about.
This seems to be staggering about with no real aim or message. I have been using my real name more than I ever have. I have always gone by Jon but now I am using Jonathan alot more. This maybe because it sounds smart or I've become sick of hearing Jonathan. If I do go to uni I might change my name. Not legal just take off the first two letter. People say if you want to make changes to yourself uni is the place to do is since you are a new toy for everyone to play with, everything and everyone is new to you. I also answer to the name Cosmo. I could use that as a nickname at university if I do go in the end.